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Top sexy lines from “Star Wars”

A New Hope:

  • “Get in there you big furry oaf, I don’t care what you smell!”
  • “Luke, at that speed do you think you’ll be able to pull out in time?”
  • “Put that thing away before you get us all killed.”
  • “You’ve got something jammed in here real good.”
  • “Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?”

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Bad Pick Up Lines

  • Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
  • Bond. James Bond.
  • Your place or mine?
  • “Are you ready to go home yet?”
  • Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
  • Would you like to have morning coffee with me?

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WordPress 2.7 Feature Overview

The release of WordPress 2.7 has been pushed back by a couple of weeks and will not be released on November 10th as scheduled. Lucky for us the WordPress 2.7 Beta 1 has been unleashed onto the world for testing purposes.

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Treatment of insurgents

A lady Canadian libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System Facilities. She received back the following reply:

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Chinese Proverbs

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tyred.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

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Funny Movie Quotes

“Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT!! Or I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!!”

Gny. Sgt. Hartman / Full Metal Jacket

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RSSRecent Articles

Deck of Cards

One Could Dream…

A bogan walked into the centrelink office, marched straight up to the counter and said,

“Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.”

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Blonde Moment

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they don’t sell rectum deodorant and never have.

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Best Movie Fight Scene Ever!

Santa Ain’t What He Used To Be….


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Senior Jokes

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.’

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Student Arrested For Intentionally ‘Breaking Wind’

A student at a Florida school has been arrested after authorities say he was “passing gas” and turned off his classmates’ computers.

According to a report released Friday by the Martin County Sheriff’s Office, the 13-year-old boy “continually disrupted his classroom environment” by intentionally breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were using.

The Spectrum Junior-Senior High School was arrested Nov. 4.

Source: local6.com

Baked Beans?

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, ‘This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?’ The boss told her he knew he’d closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant’s question about his ‘garage door.’

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, ‘When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?’

She smiled and said, ‘No, I didn’t. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires.’

Do Not Swallow Chewing-Gum!!!

Want to be a Reporter? Think Again….

Steven Seagal Runs Like a Girl

Tough man who runs like a bitch. Watch the hand actions while he is running!

Woman’s Best Friend….

As the woman passed her daughter’s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, “What in the world are you doing?”

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Another Choice