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	<title>HA! HA! HA! I'm on the Internet &#187; Featured</title>
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		<title>Guide: Tweaks &amp; Modifications for WP-Vybe 1.1 (Part 1)</title>
		<link>http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/2009/03/01/guide-tweaks-modifications-for-wp-vybe-11-part-1/</link>
		<comments>http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/2009/03/01/guide-tweaks-modifications-for-wp-vybe-11-part-1/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 01 Mar 2009 04:52:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>haha</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WordPress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex King]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Code]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Features]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Global Translator]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gravatar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Modifications]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PHP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Plugins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Popularity Contest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sidebar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Solostream]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Themes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tweaking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wordpress Popular Posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WP-Cumulus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WP-Vybe]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/?p=1798</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In part one of this guide I will be showing some various tweaks and modifications that can be done to your WP-Vybe 1.1 theme. Most of these changes will be very easy to do if you follow the instructions carefully. I have already posted a few of these tweaks and modifications on the Solostream Forums. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/wp-vybe-green-screenshot.jpg" alt="wp-vybe-green-screenshot" title="wp-vybe-green-screenshot" width="200" height="143" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1799" /><b><i>In part one of this guide I will be showing some various tweaks and modifications that can be done to your <a href="https://www.e-junkie.com/ecom/gb.php?ii=59524&#038;c=ib&#038;aff=37437">WP-Vybe 1.1</a> theme. Most of these changes will be very easy to do if you follow the instructions carefully. I have already posted a few of these tweaks and modifications on the <a href="http://www.solostream.com/forum/index.php">Solostream Forums</a>. Now it&#8217;s time to have some fun tweaking away at your theme!</i></b><br />
<span id="more-1798"></span><br />
</p>
<hr />
<h3><b>Using WP-Cumulus in WP-Vybe:</b></h3>
<p>The default Tags dropdown in WP-Vybe may be a bit bland for some people. This quick guide will show you how to install the <a href="http://www.roytanck.com/2008/03/15/wp-cumulus-released/">WP-Cumulus</a> plugin in your sidebar tabs panel instead of using the default dropdown menu.</p>
<p>First you will need to install the <a href="http://www.roytanck.com/2008/03/15/wp-cumulus-released/">WP-Cumulus</a> plugin (<a href="http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/wp-cumulus/">get it here</a>) then go into the WP-Cumulus settings and change the following options:</p>
<ul>
<li><b>Width of the Flash tag cloud</b> needs to be set to <b>278</b></li>
<li><b>Height of the Flash tag cloud</b> needs to be set to <b>209</b></li>
<li><b>Use transparent mode</b> needs to be <b>on</b></li>
</ul>
<p>Once those options are saved you will need to open your side-tabs.php file in your WP-Vybe theme folder and then find the following:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;">   &lt;select name=&quot;tag-dropdown&quot; onchange='document.location.href=this.options[this.selectedIndex].value;'&gt; 
   &lt;option value=&quot;&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #b1b100;">echo</span> attribute_escape<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span>__<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'Select a Tag'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/option&gt;
   <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$posttags</span> <span style="color: #339933;">=</span> get_terms<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'post_tag'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
   <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #b1b100;">if</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #000088;">$posttags</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#123;</span>
    <span style="color: #b1b100;">foreach</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #000088;">$posttags</span> <span style="color: #b1b100;">as</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$tag</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#123;</span> 
     <span style="color: #b1b100;">echo</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;&lt;option value='&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
     <span style="color: #b1b100;">echo</span> get_tag_link<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #000088;">$tag</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
     <span style="color: #b1b100;">echo</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;'&gt;&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
     <span style="color: #b1b100;">echo</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$tag</span><span style="color: #339933;">-&gt;</span><span style="color: #004000;">name</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
     <span style="color: #b1b100;">echo</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#125;</span>
    <span style="color: #009900;">&#125;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
   &lt;/select&gt;</pre></div></div>

<p>You will now need to replace those lines with the following:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;"><span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> wp_cumulus_insert<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span></pre></div></div>

<p>Save the file and upload it to your WP-Vybe folder. Now you can see your new tags section in action.</p>
<hr />
<h3><b>Using Global Translator in WP-Vybe:</b></h3>
<p>For this modification we will be adding a 5th tab to our sidebar tabs panel. First you will need to download and install a plugin called <a href="http://www.nothing2hide.net/wp-plugins/wordpress-global-translator-plugin/">Global Translator</a> and activate it. Now navigate to your Global Translator settings section and change the following options:</p>
<p>Set <b>Flags bar layout</b> to <b>Use a single and optimized image map and show:</b> and use <b>14 flags for each row</b>.</p>
<p>Now open your side-tabs.php file in your WP-Vybe theme folder and find the following:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;">  &lt;ul class=&quot;tabs cleafix&quot;&gt;  
  &lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;javascript:tabSwitch_2(1, 4, 'tab_', 'content_');&quot; id=&quot;tab_1&quot; class=&quot;on&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> _e<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;Subscribe&quot;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
  &lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;javascript:tabSwitch_2(2, 4, 'tab_', 'content_');&quot; id=&quot;tab_2&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> _e<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;Archives&quot;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;  
  &lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;javascript:tabSwitch_2(3, 4, 'tab_', 'content_');&quot; id=&quot;tab_3&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> _e<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;Tags&quot;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
  &lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;javascript:tabSwitch_2(4, 4, 'tab_', 'content_');&quot; id=&quot;tab_4&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> _e<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;Popular&quot;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
 &lt;/ul&gt;</pre></div></div>

<p>Change that code to:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;"> 	&lt;ul class=&quot;tabs cleafix&quot;&gt;  
		&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;javascript:tabSwitch_2(1, 5, 'tab_', 'content_');&quot; id=&quot;tab_1&quot; class=&quot;on&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> _e<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;Subscribe&quot;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
		&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;javascript:tabSwitch_2(2, 5, 'tab_', 'content_');&quot; id=&quot;tab_2&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> _e<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;Archives&quot;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;  
		&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;javascript:tabSwitch_2(3, 5, 'tab_', 'content_');&quot; id=&quot;tab_3&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> _e<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;Tags&quot;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
		&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;javascript:tabSwitch_2(4, 5, 'tab_', 'content_');&quot; id=&quot;tab_4&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> _e<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;Popular&quot;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
		&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;javascript:tabSwitch_2(5, 5, 'tab_', 'content_');&quot; id=&quot;tab_5&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> _e<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;Translate&quot;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
	&lt;/ul&gt;</pre></div></div>

<p>Now in side-tabs.php you need to add the following code in between the last two lines at the bottom of side-tabs.php.</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;">	  &lt;div id=&quot;content_5&quot; class=&quot;cat_content&quot; style=&quot;display:none&quot;&gt;
  &lt;div class=&quot;sidebox&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span>
<span style="color: #b1b100;">if</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #990000;">function_exists</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;gltr_build_flags_bar&quot;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#123;</span> 
gltr_build_flags_bar<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> 
<span style="color: #009900;">&#125;</span>
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/div&gt;
   &lt;/div&gt;</pre></div></div>

<p>Now that&#8217;s it, you now will have a fancy translator tab.</p>
<hr />
<h3><b>Featured:</b></h3>
<p>If you&#8217;re like me you may think the featured links on the right hand side of the Features box is a waste of space and could be used for something better, then this short guide is for you.</p>
<p>The next customisation will show you how to remove the whole links section and place a banner in it&#8217;s place.</p>
<p>Open the style.css file in your WP-Vybe theme folder and find:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="css" style="font-family:monospace;"><span style="color: #cc00cc;">#my-glider</span> <span style="color: #6666ff;">.controls</span> a<span style="color: #00AA00;">,</span> <span style="color: #6666ff;">.control</span> a<span style="color: #3333ff;">:link</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">,</span> <span style="color: #6666ff;">.controls</span> a<span style="color: #3333ff;">:visited </span><span style="color: #00AA00;">&#123;</span>
 <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">display</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">:</span><span style="color: #993333;">block</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">;</span>
 <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">padding-left</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">:</span> <span style="color: #933;">20px</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">;</span>
 <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">background</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">:</span> <span style="color: #993333;">transparent</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">;</span>
 <span style="color: #00AA00;">&#125;</span></pre></div></div>

<p>Change to:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="css" style="font-family:monospace;"><span style="color: #808080; font-style: italic;">/* ---- #my-glider .controls a, .control a:link, .controls a:visited {
 display:block;
 padding-left: 20px;
 background: transparent;
 } ---- */</span></pre></div></div>

<p>Now locate your features.php file in your WP-Vybe folder and find:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;"><span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> _e<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;Featured Articles&quot;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span></pre></div></div>

<p>Remove that section of code. Now just below it you will need to remove the following chunk of code:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;"><span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$count</span> <span style="color: #339933;">=</span> <span style="color: #cc66cc;">1</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$featurecount</span> <span style="color: #339933;">=</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$wp_vybe_features_number</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$my_query</span> <span style="color: #339933;">=</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">new</span> WP_Query<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;category_name=featured&amp;showposts=<span style="color: #006699; font-weight: bold;">$featurecount</span>&quot;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
<span style="color: #b1b100;">while</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #000088;">$my_query</span><span style="color: #339933;">-&gt;</span><span style="color: #004000;">have_posts</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span> <span style="color: #339933;">:</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$my_query</span><span style="color: #339933;">-&gt;</span><span style="color: #004000;">the_post</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
<span style="color: #000088;">$do_not_duplicate</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#91;</span><span style="color: #000088;">$post</span><span style="color: #339933;">-&gt;</span><span style="color: #004000;">ID</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#93;</span> <span style="color: #339933;">=</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$post</span><span style="color: #339933;">-&gt;</span><span style="color: #004000;">ID</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
&nbsp;
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #b1b100;">if</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$count</span> <span style="color: #339933;">==</span> <span style="color: #cc66cc;">1</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#123;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
      &lt;li&gt;&lt;a class=&quot;active&quot; href=&quot;#section<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> the_ID<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> the_title<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#125;</span> <span style="color: #b1b100;">else</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#123;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
      &lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;#section<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> the_ID<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> the_title<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#125;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
&nbsp;
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$count</span> <span style="color: #339933;">=</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$count</span> <span style="color: #339933;">+</span> <span style="color: #cc66cc;">1</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #b1b100;">endwhile</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span></pre></div></div>

<p>Our new banner link will go where that chunk of code was. For example you can use this code:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="html" style="font-family:monospace;">&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.affiliatelink.com/&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; src=&quot;http://www.website.com/images/banner.jpg&quot;/&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</pre></div></div>

<p>Keep in mind that the area is quite small, the largest banner can only be <b>249</b> pixels in height and <b>290</b> pixels in width.</p>
<p>To make things a bit fancier we could create rotating banners like on our <a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/">homepage</a>.</p>
<p>Instead of using the banner code above we can use a simple script to rotate different ads. Insert the following code where the large chunk of code was removed from features.php</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="java" style="font-family:monospace;"><span style="color: #339933;">&lt;</span>script LANGUAGE<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;JavaScript&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">&gt;</span>
<span style="color: #339933;">&lt;!--</span> Begin
var how_many_ads <span style="color: #339933;">=</span> <span style="color: #cc66cc;">2</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
var now <span style="color: #339933;">=</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">new</span> <span style="color: #003399;">Date</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span>
var sec <span style="color: #339933;">=</span> now.<span style="color: #006633;">getSeconds</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span>
var ad <span style="color: #339933;">=</span> sec <span style="color: #339933;">%</span> how_many_ads<span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
ad <span style="color: #339933;">+=</span><span style="color: #cc66cc;">1</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">if</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span>ad<span style="color: #339933;">==</span><span style="color: #cc66cc;">1</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#123;</span>
url<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;URL GOES HERE&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
alt<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;ALT TEXT&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
banner<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;IMAGE URL HERE&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
width<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;NUMBER&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
height<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;NUMBER&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
<span style="color: #009900;">&#125;</span>
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">if</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span>ad<span style="color: #339933;">==</span><span style="color: #cc66cc;">2</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#123;</span>
url<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;URL GOES HERE&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
alt<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;ALT TEXT&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
banner<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;IMAGE URL HERE&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
width<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;NUMBER&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
height<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;NUMBER&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
<span style="color: #009900;">&#125;</span>
document.<span style="color: #006633;">write</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'&lt;a href=&quot;'</span> <span style="color: #339933;">+</span> url <span style="color: #339933;">+</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">'&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
document.<span style="color: #006633;">write</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'&lt;img src=&quot;'</span> <span style="color: #339933;">+</span> banner <span style="color: #339933;">+</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">'&quot; width='</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span>
document.<span style="color: #006633;">write</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span>width <span style="color: #339933;">+</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">' height='</span> <span style="color: #339933;">+</span> height <span style="color: #339933;">+</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">' '</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
document.<span style="color: #006633;">write</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'alt=&quot;'</span> <span style="color: #339933;">+</span> alt <span style="color: #339933;">+</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">'&quot; border=0/&gt;'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-style: italic;">// End --&gt;</span>
<span style="color: #339933;">&lt;/</span>script<span style="color: #339933;">&gt;</span></pre></div></div>

<p>The only part that needs to be edited for two banners is the two instances of the following code:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="java" style="font-family:monospace;">url<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;URL GOES HERE&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
alt<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;ALT TEXT&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
banner<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;IMAGE URL HERE&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
width<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;NUMBER&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>
height<span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">&quot;NUMBER&quot;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span></pre></div></div>

<p>Now you will have a fancy rotating banner ad.</p>
<hr />
<h3><b>This WordPress site uses Gravatar:</b></h3>
<p>I love <a href="http://en.gravatar.com/">Gravatar</a> but I think it&#8217;s lacking one major thing in <a href="http://wordpress.org/">WordPress Blogs</a>. We <i>need</i> plugins to help the registration process without leaving our comment box. Currently there are no plugins that work to help the registration process, we still need to advertise to our commenters that <a href="http://en.gravatar.com/">Gravatar</a> is in fact a feature on our blogs.</p>
<p>Open comments.php in your WP-Vybe theme folder and find the following line of code:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;">&lt;!--&lt;p&gt;&lt;small&gt;&lt;strong&gt;XHTML:&lt;/strong&gt; You can use these tags: &lt;code&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #b1b100;">echo</span> allowed_tags<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/small&gt;--&gt;</pre></div></div>

<p>Now right below that line add something like the following:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="html" style="font-family:monospace;">&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a &lt;a href=&quot;http://en.gravatar.com/&quot; target=&quot;_self&quot;&gt;Gravatar&lt;/a&gt;!&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</pre></div></div>

<p>This small tweak is an easy way of telling your readers that you support <a href="http://en.gravatar.com/"><b>G</b>lobally <b>R</b>ecognised <b>Avatars</b></a> in your comments. It is a two minute modification but it is worth it.</p>
<hr />
<h3><b>Archives list:</b></h3>
<p>Another small change I have made within my sidebar tabs section is to remove the archives dropdown and use a monthly list instead. Once again this modification can be seen in the right sidebar of our site.</p>
<p>To do the modification open side-tabs.php in your WP-Vybe theme folder and find:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;"> &lt;div id=&quot;content_2&quot; class=&quot;cat_content&quot; style=&quot;display:none&quot;&gt;
  &lt;div class=&quot;sidebox&quot;&gt;
   &lt;select name=&quot;archive-dropdown&quot; onchange='document.location.href=this.options[this.selectedIndex].value;'&gt; 
    &lt;option value=&quot;&quot;&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #b1b100;">echo</span> attribute_escape<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span>__<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'Select Month'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/option&gt; 
    <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> wp_get_archives<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'type=monthly&amp;format=option&amp;show_post_count=1'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
   &lt;/select&gt;
  &lt;/div&gt; 
 &lt;/div&gt;</pre></div></div>

<p>Change to:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;"> &lt;div id=&quot;content_2&quot; class=&quot;cat_content&quot; style=&quot;display:none&quot;&gt;
                                 &lt;ul&gt;
                                       <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> wp_get_archives<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'title_li='</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
                                 &lt;/ul&gt;
 &lt;/div&gt;</pre></div></div>

<p>It&#8217;s a pretty simple modification that can make your monthly archives a little quicker to access.</p>
<hr />
<h3><b>Ditching Popularity Contest:</b></h3>
<p>One feature that I dislike in WP-Vybe 1.1 is the return of the popular sidebar tab that relies on the very outdated <a href="http://alexking.org/projects/wordpress">Popularity Contest</a> plugin. Why support a plugin that causes so much trouble? Anyway here is a quick guide to setup the popular sidebar tab while using another plugin.</p>
<p>Download the plugin called <a href="http://eric.biven.us/2008/12/03/recently-popular-wordpress-plugin/">Recently Popular</a> and activate it. No need to activate the Recently Popular Widget because we are using the function to insert it into our sidebar.</p>
<p>Now locate your side-tabs.php file in your WP-Vybe theme folder and find the following lines:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;"><span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #666666; font-style: italic;">/* Alex King's &lt;a href=&quot;http://alexking.org/blog/2007/10/02/popularity-contest-13b2&quot;&gt;Popularity Contest plugin would work really well here. */</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #b1b100;">if</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span> <span style="color: #990000;">function_exists</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'akpc_most_popular'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span> <span style="color: #339933;">:</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
  &lt;ul&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> akpc_most_popular<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #000088;">$limit</span><span style="color: #339933;">=</span><span style="color: #cc66cc;">5</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/ul&gt;
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #b1b100;">else</span> <span style="color: #339933;">:</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>
  &lt;div class=&quot;sidebox&quot;&gt;&lt;p&gt;<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> _e<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'This feature has not been activated yet.'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span>&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
<span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #b1b100;">endif</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span></pre></div></div>

<p>Replace those lines with the following line:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;">&lt;ul&gt; <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> get_recently_popular<span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #cc66cc;">2</span><span style="color: #339933;">,</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">'WEEK'</span><span style="color: #339933;">,</span> <span style="color: #cc66cc;">5</span><span style="color: #339933;">,</span> <span style="color: #cc66cc;">0</span><span style="color: #339933;">,</span> <span style="color: #cc66cc;">2</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span> &lt;/ul&gt;</pre></div></div>

<p>And that&#8217;s it! You will now have a popular posts tab that works a lot better.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>21</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Guide: Backing Up Your WordPress Database</title>
		<link>http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/2009/02/24/guide-backing-up-your-wordpress-database/</link>
		<comments>http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/2009/02/24/guide-backing-up-your-wordpress-database/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Feb 2009 06:09:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>haha</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WordPress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Comments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Database]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Export]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guide]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Settings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Web Hosting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wp-config.php]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WP-DB-Backup]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/?p=1725</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Backing up your WordPress Database is the most important procedure you need to do when running your own blog. The database stores all your posts, comments, pages, links and all other settings. This guide will show you detailed instructions on backing up your precious data. Also to note - This guide is used for backing [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/wordpress-database.jpg" alt="wordpress-database" title="wordpress-database" width="200" height="143" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1726" /><strong><em>Backing up your <a href="http://wordpress.org/">WordPress</a> Database is the most important procedure you need to do when running your own blog. The database stores all your posts, comments, pages, links and all other settings. This guide will show you detailed instructions on backing up your precious data.</em></strong><br />
<span id="more-1725"></span><br />
<strong><em><font color="#FF0000">Also to note -</font> This guide is used for backing up your database only, this does not include backing up your uploaded images, media, plugins or WordPress installation. I will create another guide on that subject soon.</em></strong></p>
<p>One of the most popular ways of backing up your database is by using <a href="http://www.phpmyadmin.net/">phpMyAdmin</a>, which is included with most webhosts nowadays.</p>
<p>First you need to find out your database name. To do that you need to open the <b>wp-config.php</b> which is in the root of your WordPress directory on your server.</p>
<p>You will need to find the following line:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;"><span style="color: #990000;">define</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'DB_NAME'</span><span style="color: #339933;">,</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">'wordpress'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>    <span style="color: #666666; font-style: italic;">// The name of the database</span></pre></div></div>

<p>Your database name will be located where the word &#8216;<b>wordpress</b>&#8216; is. Remember the database name.</p>
<p>Log into <a href="http://www.phpmyadmin.net/">phpMyAdmin</a>. If you don&#8217;t know how to access <a href="http://www.phpmyadmin.net/">phpMyAdmin</a>, just contact your webhost.</p>
<p>Once logged in you should see a page that resembles below. On that page you need to click on the link that says <b>Databases</b>.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/1.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/1-300x157.jpg" alt="1" title="1" width="300" height="157" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1727" /></a></p>
<p>The next page will give you a list of databases that are being used, click on the link with your database name. Example in the picture below:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/2.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/2-300x156.jpg" alt="2" title="2" width="300" height="156" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1728" /></a></p>
<p>You will now be presented with a new page that has a list of <a href="http://codex.wordpress.org/Database_Description#Table_Overview">WordPress tables</a>, you need to click the <b>Export</b> link at the top of the page. Example picture below:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/3.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/3-300x154.jpg" alt="3" title="3" width="300" height="154" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1729" /></a></p>
<p>The page that comes up is where you change the settings for your database. This section is the most important part of creating a database backup.</p>
<p>The left box shows some <b>Export</b> settings, in that box you need to highlight all the tables by clicking the &#8216;<b>Select All</b>&#8216; button. Then scroll down and make sure &#8216;<b>SQL</b>&#8216; is selected. Example picture below:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/4.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/4-113x300.jpg" alt="4" title="4" width="113" height="300" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1730" /></a></p>
<p>On the right under <b>Options</b> you need to make sure the first two options are unticked. The two options are listed below:</p>
<ul>
<li>Enclose export in a transaction</li>
<li>Disable foreign key checks</li>
</ul>
<p>The <b>Structure</b> option on the right hand side of the page needs to be ticked and also the following three options below:</p>
<ul>
<li>Add DROP TABLE / DROP VIEW</li>
<li>Add AUTO_INCREMENT value</li>
<li>Enclose table and field names with backquotes</li>
</ul>
<p>To make things easy just use all the same settings that are used in the screenshot below:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/5.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/5-300x119.jpg" alt="5" title="5" width="300" height="119" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1731" /></a></p>
<p>In the <b>Data</b> section you need to have everything unticked except for the <b>Data</b> option. Example in the screenshot below:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/6.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/6-300x94.jpg" alt="6" title="6" width="300" height="94" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1732" /></a></p>
<p>Now for the final section at the bottom of the page you need to tick the &#8216;<b>save as file</b>&#8216; option and everything else can remain the same as seen in the screenshot below:</p>
<p>Following that four <b>Compression</b> options are shown, I like to use either &#8216;<b>None</b>&#8216; or &#8216;<b>zipped</b>&#8216; then hit the <b>Go</b> button in the bottom righthand corner then your database download will start.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/7.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/7-300x73.jpg" alt="7" title="7" width="300" height="73" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1733" /></a></p>
<p>I hope this guide has come in handy for some people, the last thing anybody ever wants is to lose a years worth of posts and hard work. We will put together a guide on restoring a database soon, that will come in handy for those who are moving servers or are just restoring a database due to it being corrupt.</p>
<p>One other way of backing up your database for safe keeping is by using a WordPress plugin called <a href="http://www.ilfilosofo.com/blog/wp-db-backup/">WP-DB-Backup</a> and your database can be saved from within your WordPress Administration Panel. More information about the <a href="http://www.ilfilosofo.com/blog/wp-db-backup/">WP-DB-Backup</a> plugin can be found <a href="http://www.ilfilosofo.com/blog/wp-db-backup/">here</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Optimizing the Performance of your WordPress Blog</title>
		<link>http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/2009/02/15/optimizing-the-performance-of-your-wordpress-blog/</link>
		<comments>http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/2009/02/15/optimizing-the-performance-of-your-wordpress-blog/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Feb 2009 17:28:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>haha</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tweaking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Videos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[W3C]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Web Hosting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Websites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Whitespace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WP Super Cache]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WP-Vybe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[YouTube]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/?p=1682</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here are some tips to optimize the load time of your WordPress blog. Some self hosted blogs with a large amount of visitors tend to load slow and the following ten tips might come in handy for those who would like to get the most out of their blog. Delete or Disable Unnecessary Plugins: You [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/untitled-1.jpg" alt="untitled-1" title="untitled-1" width="200" height="143" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1683" /><strong><em>Here are some tips to optimize the load time of your <a href="http://wordpress.org/">WordPress</a> blog. Some self hosted blogs with a large amount of visitors tend to load slow and the following ten tips might come in handy for those who would like to get the most out of their blog.</em></strong><br />
<span id="more-1682"></span><br />
<b>Delete or Disable Unnecessary Plugins:</b></p>
<p>You can speed up your blog by removing or disabling as many plugins as possible, only use plugins which are really needed. Remember less is better! Having lots of plugins installed will add more PHP queries to your server which means more load when your site has a lots of visitors.</p>
<p><b>Install WP Super Cache:</b></p>
<p><a href="http://ocaoimh.ie/">WP Super Cache</a> is another great plugin which needs to be built into WordPress. If your blog is constantly listed on the front page of <a href="http://digg.com/">Digg</a> you will notice a severe drop in performance because your WordPress blog will be processing many PHP scripts for visitors which puts a huge strain on your server. This plugin will generate static html files for your blog that is less work for your server.</p>
<p><b>Images:</b></p>
<p>Hosting your own images will slow down your load times considerably if you&#8217;re on a lower quality Web Host. One thing you can do is use an image hosting site like <a href="http://www.flickr.com/">Flickr</a>. <a href="http://www.flickr.com/">Flickr</a> is using a huge amount of servers and can no doubt handle your blog images with a breeze. WordPress now has plenty of plugins that will help you integrate <a href="http://www.flickr.com/">Flickr</a> images into WordPress. In the long run you will save a lot of money on webhosting if you use a free third party image storage system.</p>
<p>Image compression can be another way of helping your blog load faster, whether it being compressing images for your posts or your image files for your theme. I like to use <a href="http://www.adobe.com/products/photoshop/compare/">Adobe Photoshop</a> for compressing my images. Photoshop has a &#8220;save for web&#8221; feature for compressing images and it does come in handy for shaving off a few bytes on images.</p>
<p><b>Video:</b></p>
<p>A trend nowadays is to create and use videos on your blog, while it can be nice to have a few videos on the front page of your blog you are actually slowing down your page load time and using lots of bandwidth if you are hosting your own videos. One way to speed up load times and save bandwidth in the process is to use external video hosting sites like <a href="http://www.youtube.com/">YouTube</a> and <a href="http://video.google.com/">Google Video</a>. Plenty of video hosting sites are floating around the internet to choose from. To note YouTube now supports <a href="http://www.youtube.com/blog?gl=AU&#038;hl=en-GB&#038;entry=skhXNQSfBUI">HD and widescreen videos</a>.</p>
<p><b>Defrag your Database:</b></p>
<p>If you have the luxury of having access to <a href="http://www.phpmyadmin.net/">phpMyAdmin</a> you can optimise your WordPress database. When in phpMyAdmin select all of your WordPress tables and select &#8220;optimise table&#8221; from the dropdown list.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/defrag-wordpress-database.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/defrag-wordpress-database-300x147.jpg" alt="defrag-wordpress-database" title="defrag-wordpress-database" width="300" height="147" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1684" /></a></p>
<p><b>Tidy up your CSS:</b></p>
<p>One way to to speed up your site&#8217;s load time is by making your CSS file size smaller. The idea behind this is to remove as much whitespace as possible. An example of cleaning up the style.css code is below.</p>
<p>Below is a example of most normal style.css files:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="css" style="font-family:monospace;">body <span style="color: #00AA00;">&#123;</span>
 <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">text-align</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">:</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">left</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">;</span>
 <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">margin</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">:</span> <span style="color: #cc66cc;">0</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">;</span>
 <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">padding</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">:</span> <span style="color: #933;">10px</span> <span style="color: #cc66cc;">0</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">;</span>
 <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">line-height</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">:</span> <span style="color: #933;">1.5em</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">;</span>
 <span style="color: #00AA00;">&#125;</span></pre></div></div>

<p>The CSS code below is the very same as the code above, just without as much whitespace inbetween text.</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="css" style="font-family:monospace;">body <span style="color: #00AA00;">&#123;</span><span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">text-align</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">:</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">left</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">margin</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">:</span> <span style="color: #cc66cc;">0</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">padding</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">:</span> <span style="color: #933;">10px</span> <span style="color: #cc66cc;">0</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">line-height</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">:</span> <span style="color: #933;">1.5em</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">;</span><span style="color: #00AA00;">&#125;</span></pre></div></div>

<p>Of course tidying up a CSS file like this will make things a bit more confusing and harder to read, but all in all your CSS file will be faster loading and of a smaller file size.</p>
<p><b>Validate your Code:</b></p>
<p>Validating your code is very important, some serious errors can slow down your page loading.</p>
<p><a href="http://validator.w3.org/">Markup Validation Service</a></p>
<p><b>Update WordPress:</b></p>
<p>Yes that&#8217;s right, updating WordPress to the latest version can have it&#8217;s benefits. Besides security fixes some WordPress updates can have performance improvements.</p>
<p><b>Use a Minimalist Theme:</b></p>
<p>Using a Minimalist theme is another way of speeding up a blog, the downfall is that you need to sacrifice all the nice effects in a theme. A Minimalist theme has no images, AJAX or Javascripts. I personally like using fancy themes like my current theme which is called <a href="https://www.e-junkie.com/ecom/gb.php?ii=59525&#038;c=ib&#038;aff=37437&#038;ev=19b26c2629">WP-Vybe</a> made by <a href="https://www.e-junkie.com/ecom/gb.php?ii=59525&#038;c=ib&#038;aff=37437&#038;ev=19b26c2629">Solosteam</a>.</p>
<p><b>Web Hosting:</b></p>
<p>Choosing the right webhost is the hardest part about creating your own website. A majority of first-time website users tend to target webhosting companies that throw packages with unlimited data storage and bandwidth for $4.95 per month and so on. Well most of the time these plans can be great for the average website administrator until your site starts to gain popularity and starts to get more traffic. If you have a website that is pumping out lots of images, videos, PHP queries and has a large visitor base then you may want to look around and spend a bit more on your host. After all you don&#8217;t want to annoy your visitors or lose business because your blog is offline or timing out all of the time.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>WordPress Security Tips</title>
		<link>http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/2009/02/10/wordpress-security-tips/</link>
		<comments>http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/2009/02/10/wordpress-security-tips/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Feb 2009 01:47:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>haha</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WordPress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[.htaccess]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2.7]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[644]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[666]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[755]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Admin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CHMOD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cPanel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Database]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Domain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Exploit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FileZilla]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Freeware]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FTP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Limit Login Attempts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Plugins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PSPad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Replace WP-Version]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Update]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[User interface]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WP-DB-Backup]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/?p=1662</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Keeping your self hosted WordPress Blog safe should be a Blogger&#8217;s number one priority. Below are a few hints and tips that should make your life a little bit easier when creating or using your WordPress Blog. 1. Keep WordPress updated to the latest version. The latest version can be downloaded from wordpress.org. The current [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/wp-barb.jpg" alt="wp-barb" title="wp-barb" width="200" height="143" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1663" />Keeping your self hosted WordPress Blog safe should be a Blogger&#8217;s number one priority. Below are a few hints and tips that should make your life a little bit easier when creating or using your WordPress Blog.<br />
<span id="more-1662"></span><br />
<strong>1.</strong> Keep WordPress updated to the latest version. The latest version can be downloaded from <a href="http://wordpress.org/">wordpress.org</a>. The current version of WordPress at time of writing this article is <em>2.7</em>.</p>
<p><strong>2.</strong> Keep all of your WordPress plugins and themes updated to their latest version. New versions of plugins and themes could contain security fixes.</p>
<p><strong>3.</strong> Secure your plugins directory so plugins you are using can&#8217;t be seen. If your WordPress Blog was to be hacked it might be done by discovering an out-of-date plugin on your server with known security flaws.</p>
<p>By typing the following link into your browser you will be able to check if your WordPress plugins are being displayed.</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="html" style="font-family:monospace;">http://www.mywebsite.com/wp-content/plugins/</pre></div></div>

<p>Note: Replace www.mywebsite.com with your own domain name.</p>
<p>An easy fix to the issue above can be made by just placing a blank <em>index.html</em> file within your plugins folder. A more secure fix would be to edit your <em>.htaccess</em> file in the root of your WordPress directory on your server.</p>
<p>Open the <em>.htaccess</em> file in a text editor, I prefer to use <a href="http://www.pspad.com/">PSPad</a> which is a freeware program then add the following two lines to the bottom and save the file.</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="css" style="font-family:monospace;"># Prevents directory listing
Options -Indexes</pre></div></div>

<p><strong>4.</strong> If, for some strange reason, you are using an earlier version of WordPress then you might want to hide your WordPress version number from the entire world by using the <a href="http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/replace-wp-version/">Replace WP-Version</a> plugin. The version number that is being shown via the page source can be disguised by using The <em>Replace WP-Version</em> plugin. </p>
<p><strong>5.</strong> The WordPress folder and file permissions is an important security aspect that quite a lot of people forget. All WordPress folders should be set to <em>755</em> and all files should be set to <em>644</em>. If you like editing your theme via the <em>Edit Themes panel</em> within WordPress you will need to CHMOD your theme files to <em>666</em>.</p>
<p>File permissions can be changed by your webhosting account&#8217;s administration panel (ex: <a href="http://www.cpanel.net/">cPanel</a>) or by using a FTP program like <a href="http://filezilla-project.org/">FileZilla</a>.</p>
<p><strong>6.</strong> Backup your WordPress files and database on a regular basis. </p>
<p>For detailed information on backing up your database please go to the link below:<br />
<a href="http://codex.wordpress.org/Backing_Up_Your_Database">http://codex.wordpress.org/Backing_Up_Your_Database</a></p>
<p>You could also be like me and use a terrific database plugin called WP-DB-Backup. The plugin can be downloaded below:<br />
<a href="http://www.ilfilosofo.com/blog/wp-db-backup">http://www.ilfilosofo.com/blog/wp-db-backup</a></p>
<p>For backing up your files you can use a FTP program or see if your website host has a built-in file backup system.</p>
<p><strong>7.</strong> Simple passwords for your WordPress blog should not be used. We have all done it at one time or another, using passwords like 123456 and abcdef is not a good idea at all! Be creative and create hard passwords using numbers, letters or even symbols like #, @, !, %.</p>
<p>Try a password generator if need be:<br />
<a href="http://www.pctools.com/guides/password/">http://www.pctools.com/guides/password/</a></p>
<p><strong>8.</strong> One security tip that is rarely done is to delete the default <em>admin</em> user account. Creating your own account is a much safer idea. Hackers would only need to crack your login password because the username and ID number is already set when installing WordPress.</p>
<ol>
<li>Create a new administrator acount in the Users section.</li>
<li>Log out of the default admin account.</li>
<li>Log in as the new user.</li>
<li>Delete the old admin from the user list.</li>
<li>Assign all posts, pages and links to the new user account.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>9.</strong> A security exploit has been found in some themes on the internet. One method to check if your theme has this exploit is to search for the following line of code in your <em>search.php</em>:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;"><span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">&lt;?php</span> <span style="color: #b1b100;">echo</span> <span style="color: #000088;">$_SERVER</span> <span style="color: #009900;">&#91;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'PHP_SELF'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#93;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span></pre></div></div>

<p>This exploit allows your entire server to be searched.</p>
<p>Use this code instead:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;"><span style="color: #339933;">&lt;</span> ?php bloginfo <span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'home'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #000000; font-weight: bold;">?&gt;</span></pre></div></div>

<p><strong>10.</strong> WordPress allows unlimited login attempts and this can give experienced Hackers a chance to crack your password by doing brute-force attacks. I recommend using a plugin called <a href="http://devel.kostdoktorn.se/limit-login-attempts/">Limit Login Attempts</a>. The plugin works with the current version of WordPress (<em>2.7</em>).</p>
<p>Well that&#8217;s it for our WordPress security guide. I hope some of these tweaks will help protect you from the evil people on the internet!</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Guide: Installing WordPress on Windows</title>
		<link>http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/2008/11/01/installing-wordpress-on-windows/</link>
		<comments>http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/2008/11/01/installing-wordpress-on-windows/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 01 Nov 2008 06:10:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>haha</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WordPress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Apache]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Database]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Editing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Installation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Local]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MySQL]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Plugins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Test]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Themes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tweaking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Website]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Windows]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Xampp]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/?p=1175</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you like developing WordPress themes and plugins or even tweaking and testing your soon to be website then this tutorial is for you! It will teach you how to get WordPress up and running within Windows. Here are the steps for installing WordPress on your computer: Part 1 Download the latest version of XAMPP, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/wordpress-windows.jpg" alt="wordpress-windows" title="wordpress-windows" width="200" height="143" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1448" />If you like developing <a href="http://wordpress.org/">WordPress</a> themes and plugins or even tweaking and testing your soon to be website then this tutorial is for you! It will teach you how to get WordPress up and running within Windows.</p>
<p>Here are the steps for installing WordPress on your computer:<br />
<span id="more-1175"></span><br />
<strong>Part 1</strong></p>
<p>Download the latest version of <a href="http://www.apachefriends.org/en/xampp.html">XAMPP</a>, I personally like to use the <a href="http://www.apachefriends.org/en/xampp-windows.html#646">lite version</a> with the &#8220;executable&#8221; for easy installation.</p>
<p>Start the XAMPP installer, during installation you will be asked to choose a destination folder. I use <i>c:\xampp</i> for convenience. On the next install screen you will be given a few XAMPP options (as seen below), make sure the install Apache and MySQL services are both ticked and then click install. The Filezilla service is not needed.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp0.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp0-300x230.jpg" alt="" title="xampp0" width="300" height="230" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1168" /></a></p>
<p>Once the XAMPP installation is finished you will notice a new icon in your Window&#8217;s Taskbar (as seen below).</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp1.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp1-300x49.jpg" alt="" title="xampp1" width="300" height="49" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1169" /></a></p>
<p>Double click the XAMPP icon in your Taskbar and the XAMPP Control Panel will come on screen (as seen below). You need to make sure both Apache and MySQL services are running. If they are then you&#8217;re good to go!</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp2.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp2-300x236.jpg" alt="" title="xampp2" width="300" height="236" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1170" /></a></p>
<p>Open your internet browser and type the following address in the internet address bar: <a href="http://localhost/xampp/splash.php">http://localhost/xampp/splash.php</a>. You should now be greeted with the XAMPP Splash Screen (as seen below)</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp3.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp3-300x90.jpg" alt="" title="xampp3" width="300" height="90" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1171" /></a><br />
(I hope you&#8217;re all using one of the safest and most internet friendly browsers which is, <a href="http://www.mozilla.com/">Mozilla Firefox</a>?)</p>
<p>After you have picked your language, you will then need to click phpMyAdmin (as seen below).</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp4.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp4.jpg" alt="" title="xampp4" width="206" height="88" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1172" /></a></p>
<p>In the <b>Create New Database</b> Field, enter the word <i>wordpress</i>, and select utf8_unicode_ci in the drop down box in the next field. Click Create (as seen below). XAMPP is now installed!</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp5.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp5-300x48.jpg" alt="" title="xampp5" width="300" height="48" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1173" /></a></p>
<hr />
<p><strong>Part 2</strong></p>
<p>Download and unzip the latest version of WordPress from <a href="http://wordpress.org/">WordPress.org</a>. The file sizes are normally under two megabytes.</p>
<p>You will then need to open the file wp-config-sample.php with Windows Notepad or WordPad. I personally like the freeware program <a href="http://www.pspad.com/">PSPad</a> for editing PHP files.</p>
<p>Within the wp-config-sample.php you need to find the following lines and make the details match my code:</p>

<div class="wp_syntax"><div class="code"><pre class="php" style="font-family:monospace;"><span style="color: #990000;">define</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'DB_NAME'</span><span style="color: #339933;">,</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">'wordpress'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>    <span style="color: #666666; font-style: italic;">// The name of the database</span>
<span style="color: #990000;">define</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'DB_USER'</span><span style="color: #339933;">,</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">'root'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>     <span style="color: #666666; font-style: italic;">// Your MySQL username</span>
<span style="color: #990000;">define</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'DB_PASSWORD'</span><span style="color: #339933;">,</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">''</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span> <span style="color: #666666; font-style: italic;">// ...and password</span>
<span style="color: #990000;">define</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#40;</span><span style="color: #0000ff;">'DB_HOST'</span><span style="color: #339933;">,</span> <span style="color: #0000ff;">'localhost'</span><span style="color: #009900;">&#41;</span><span style="color: #339933;">;</span>    <span style="color: #666666; font-style: italic;">// 99% chance you won't need to change this value</span></pre></div></div>

<p>You will not need a database password. You should only change the database name and database username. Then rename the file as wp-config.php and save it.</p>
<p>Now you will need to move the whole wordpress folder to <i>Windows Start button > My Computer > C drive > xampp > htdocs</i> (as seen below).</p>
<p><a href="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp6.jpg"><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/xampp6-300x239.jpg" alt="" title="xampp6" width="300" height="239" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1174" /></a></p>
<p>For the final step in this tutorial you need to enter the following address into your browser: <a href="http://localhost/wordpress/wp-admin/install.php">http://localhost/wordpress/wp-admin/install.php</a>, and follow the steps.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Funny Movie Quotes</title>
		<link>http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/2008/10/07/funny-movie-quotes/</link>
		<comments>http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/2008/10/07/funny-movie-quotes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:24:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>haha</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Quotes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ace Ventura]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Airplane]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[American Pie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Annie Hall]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Army of Darkness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Arthur]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Austin Powers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Back to the Future]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Borat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Commando]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Death to Smoochy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dogma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Duck Soup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dumb & Dumber]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Father of the Bride]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fight Club]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Full Metal Jacket]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ghostbusters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happy Gilmore]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hot Shots!]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lair Lair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Meet the Fockers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pirates of the Caribbean]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Predator]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Priscilla]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pulp Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RV]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Saving Private Ryan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sgt. Bilko]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Shrek]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Snakes on a Plane]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spaceballs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stripes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The 40 Year Old Virgin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Cable Guy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Rock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Trueman Show]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/?p=347</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tommy: "Did you hear I finally graduated?"
<br />
Richard Hayden: "Yeah, and just a shade under a decade too, all right."
<br />
Tommy: "You know a lot of people go to college for seven years."
<br />
Richard Hayden: "I know, they're called doctors."]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/dumbanddumber.jpg" alt="dumbanddumber" title="dumbanddumber" width="200" height="143" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1817" />&#8220;Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don&#8217;t know, I wasn&#8217;t really paying attention.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Harry Dunne / <b>Dumb &#038; Dumber</b><br />
<span id="more-347"></span></p>
<hr />
&#8220;If I&#8217;m not back in five minutes… wait longer!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Ace Ventura / <b>Ace Ventura: Pet Detective</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;There&#8217;s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you&#8217;ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?&#8221;<br />
<br />
Elaine / <b>Airplane</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;That sex was the most fun I ever had without laughing.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Alvy Singer / <b>Annie Hall</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;You realize we&#8217;re all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Jim Levenstein / <b>American Pie</b></p>
<hr />
Duke Henry: &#8220;I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Ash: &#8220;Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I&#8217;ve got news for you pal, you ain&#8217;t leadin&#8217; but two things, right now: Jack and shit… and Jack just left town.&#8221;<br />
<br />
<b>Army of Darkness</b></p>
<hr />
<img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/armyofdarkness.jpg" alt="armyofdarkness" title="armyofdarkness" width="200" height="143" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1818" />&#8220;Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This… is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart&#8217;s top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That&#8217;s right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It&#8217;s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That&#8217;s right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?&#8221;<br />
<br />
Ash / <b>Army of Darkness</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;I&#8217;m so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Arthur Bach / <b>Arthur</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Austin Powers / <b>Austin Powers: Goldmember</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my submarine lair. It&#8217;s long, hard and full of seamen!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Dr. Evil / <b>Austin Powers: Goldmember</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;She&#8217;s the village bicycle! Everybody&#8217;s had a ride.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Austin Powers / <b>Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;The time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe &#8211; women!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Dr. Emmett Brown / <b>Back to the Future II</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;I arrived in America&#8217;s airport with clothings, US dollars, and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Borat Sagdiyev / <b>Borat</b></p>
<hr />
<img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/commando.jpg" alt="commando" title="commando" width="200" height="143" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1819" />Cooke: &#8220;You scared, motherfucker? Well, you should be, because this Green Beret is going to kick your big ass!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Matrix: &#8220;I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now, I&#8217;m very hungry!&#8221;<br />
<br />
<b>Commando</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Bastard Son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam motherfucker.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Rainbow Randolph / <b>Death to Smoochy</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Dude, I know they were just kids, but we kicked their fucking pube-less asses.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Jason Mewes / <b>Dogma</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;So do you do anal? Is it true that chicks fart if you blast &#8216;em in the ass?&#8221;<br />
<br />
Jay / <b>Dogma</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;I&#8217;ve got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Rufus T. Firefly / <b>Duck Soup</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Drive carefully. And don&#8217;t forget to fasten your condoms! …Seatbelts, I mean seatbelts.&#8221;<br />
<br />
George Banks / <b>Father of the Bride</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;A condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Marla Singer / <b>Fight Club</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Bullshit I can&#8217;t hear you. Sound off like you got a pair!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Gny. Sgt. Hartman / <b>Full Metal Jacket</b></p>
<hr />
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: &#8220;How tall are you, private?&#8221;<br />
<br />
Private Cowboy: &#8220;Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: &#8220;Five-foot-nine, I didn&#8217;t know they stacked shit that high.&#8221;<br />
<br />
<b>Full Metal Jacket</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT!! Or I&#8217;m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Gny. Sgt. Hartman / <b>Full Metal Jacket</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn&#8217;t Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?&#8221;<br />
<br />
Gny. Sgt. Hartman / <b>Full Metal Jacket</b></p>
<hr />
<img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/full_metal_jacket.jpg" alt="full_metal_jacket" title="full_metal_jacket" width="200" height="143" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1145" />&#8220;That&#8217;s enough; get on your feet. Private Pyle you had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Gny. Sgt. Hartman / <b>Full Metal Jacket</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;I bet you&#8217;re the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass, and not even have the god damned common courtesy to give him a reach around.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Gny. Sgt. Hartman / <b>Full Metal Jacket</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Gny. Sgt. Hartman / <b>Full Metal Jacket</b></p>
<hr />
Janine Melnitz: &#8220;Do you believe in U.F.O.s, astral projections, mental telepathy, E.S.P., clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full-trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster, and the theory of Atlantis?&#8221;<br />
<br />
Winston Zeddemore: &#8220;If there&#8217;s a steady paycheck in it, I&#8217;ll believe anything you say.&#8221;<br />
<br />
<b>Ghostbusters</b></p>
<hr />
Shooter McGavin: &#8220;I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Happy Gilmore: &#8220;you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?&#8221;<br />
<br />
<b>Happy Gilmore</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;That is the whitest white part of the eye I&#8217;ve ever seen. Do you floss?&#8221;<br />
<br />
Lt. Topper Harley / <b>Hot Shots!</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;You had sex with her didn&#8217;t ya, DIDN&#8217;T YA! You dunked your donut, you stuffed her like a Thanksgiving turkey!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Fletcher Reede / <b>Liar Liar</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;If it&#8217;s yellow, let it mellow. If it&#8217;s brown, flush it down.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Bernie Focker / <b>Meet the Fockers</b></p>
<hr />
<img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/piratesofthecaribbean.jpg" alt="piratesofthecaribbean" title="piratesofthecaribbean" width="200" height="143" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1820" />Elizabeth Swann: &#8220;There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Jack Sparrow: &#8220;I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.&#8221;<br />
<br />
<b>Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man&#8217;s Chest</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;English, motherfucker, do you speak it?&#8221;<br />
<br />
Jules / <b>Pulp Fiction</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Billy. Billy! The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend, I said to her, &#8220;Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy.&#8221; She said, &#8220;Why did you say that twice?&#8221; I said, I didn&#8217;t. See, cuz of the echo.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Hawkins / <b>Predator</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;You&#8217;re one… *ugly* motherfucker!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Dutch / <b>Predator</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Bob Munro / <b>RV</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;FUBAR.&#8221;<br />
<br />
<b>Saving Private Ryan</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;All I&#8217;ve ever wanted was an honest week&#8217;s pay for an honest day&#8217;s work.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko / <b>Sgt. Bilko</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain&#8217;t never seen a donkey fly!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Donkey / <b>Shrek</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Neville Flynn / <b>Snakes on a Plane</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Name&#8217;s Barf. I&#8217;m a Mog, half man half dog. I&#8217;m my own best friend.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Barf / <b>Spaceballs</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;So, Lord Helmet, at last we meet again for the first time for the last time.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Lone Starr / <b>Spaceballs</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness Princess Vespa, daughter of King Roland going right past the altar, heading down the ramp and out the door!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Minister / <b>Spaceballs</b></p>
<hr />
<img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/spaceballs.jpg" alt="spaceballs" title="spaceballs" width="200" height="143" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1822" />&#8220;You idiots! These are not them! You&#8217;ve captured their stunt doubles!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Captain of the Guard / <b>Spaceballs</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;When I was a kid, my father told me, &#8220;never hit anyone in anger, unless you&#8217;re absolutely sure you can get away with it.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Russell Ziskey / <b>Stripes</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;[W]e&#8217;re not homosexuals, but we are willing to learn.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Russell Ziskey / <b>Stripes</b></p>
<hr />
Trish: &#8220;[on the bed, kissing] Do you have protection?&#8221;<br />
<br />
Andy: &#8220;I don&#8217;t believe in guns.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Andy Stitzer / <b>The 40 Year Old Virgin</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Oh for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix, someone needs the wood!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Felicia / <b>The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;You know what the trouble about real life is? There&#8217;s no danger music.&#8221;<br />
<br />
The Cable Guy / <b>The Cable Guy</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.&#8221;<br />
<br />
John Patrick Mason / <b>The Rock</b></p>
<hr />
Tommy: &#8220;Did you hear I finally graduated?&#8221;<br />
<br />
Richard Hayden: &#8220;Yeah, and just a shade under a decade too, all right.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Tommy: &#8220;You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Richard Hayden: &#8220;I know, they&#8217;re called doctors.&#8221;<br />
<br />
<b>Tommy Boy</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Good morning! And in case I don&#8217;t see you: good afternoon, good evening and good night.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Truman Burbank / <b>The Trueman Show</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?&#8221;<br />
<br />
Wayne Campbell / <b>Wayne&#8217;s World</b></p>
<hr />
<img src="http://www.hahahaimontheinternet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/waynesworld.jpg" alt="waynesworld" title="waynesworld" width="200" height="143" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1821" />Wayne Campbell: &#8220;Say, I smell bacon. Does anyone else smell bacon?&#8221;<br />
<br />
Garth Algar: &#8220;Yeah, I definitely smell a pork product of some type.&#8221;<br />
<br />
<b>Wayne&#8217;s World</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;You shut your mouth when you&#8217;re talking to me!&#8221;<br />
<br />
Mrs. Kroeger / <b>Wedding Crashers</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;Roses are red, violets are blue, I&#8217;m a schizophrenic and so am I.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Bob Wiley / <b>What about Bob?</b></p>
<hr />
&#8220;I&#8217;m not bad. I&#8217;m just drawn that way.&#8221;<br />
<br />
Jessica Rabbit / <b>Who Framed Roger Rabbit</b></p>
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