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A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, “You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.”
So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, “I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel.”
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Little Johnny was in the classroom bored to the back teeth on a Friday afternoon, and the teacher decided to have a game for the kids to get them thinking.
“Okay class. Now I’m going to say a famous quote, and the first person to tell me who said that quote, can have Monday off.” said the teacher.
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An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe’ with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
The truckie says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a coke,’ and turns to the emu, ‘What’s yours?’ ‘I’ll have the same,’ says the emu.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order ‘That will be $9.40 please,’ and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
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It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).
The average man’s penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs.
A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes.
The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.
The next thing the guy knows, he’s in a bedroom, in a golf-course mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women.
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A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because that’s the type of ticket she paid for.
The blonde woman replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.”
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An Aboriginal picks up a hooker.
‘How much do you charge for da hour, sister?’ he asks.
‘$100,’ she replies.
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An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini and said “I want to feel your breasts.”
“Get away from me, you dirty old man,” she replied.
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