All Entries in the "humour" Category

Woman’s Best Friend….

As the woman passed her daughter’s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, “What in the world are you doing?”

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Don’t Mess With Grandma

When Grandma Goes To Court Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

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Bad Pick Up Lines

• Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
• Bond. James Bond.
• Your place or mine?
• “Are you ready to go home yet?”
• Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
• Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
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Treatment of insurgents

A lady Canadian libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System Facilities. She received back the following reply:

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New Government Symbol

The government today announced that it is changing its national symbol because it accurately reflects the government’s political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed.

Damn, it just doesn’t get more accurate then that!

Funny Bush Quotes

“I know how hard it is to put food on your family”
- Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan 27, 2000

“I think war is a dangerous place”
- Washington, D.C., May 7, 2003

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You might be a Redneck if…

by Jeff Foxworthy

More than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general.

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The Australian & the Muslim

A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London to Melbourne, Australia.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

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The Blonde Cop

A blonde woman Architect was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the Architect’s driver’s license.

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A tragedy…

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd visited a primary school and went into one of the classes.

They were in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings.

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