A New Hope:
- “Get in there you big furry oaf, I don’t care what you smell!”
- “Luke, at that speed do you think you’ll be able to pull out in time?”
- “Put that thing away before you get us all killed.”
- “You’ve got something jammed in here real good.”
- “Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?” [Read more...]

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, ‘This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?’ The boss told her he knew he’d closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As the woman passed her daughter’s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, “What in the world are you doing?”
When Grandma Goes To Court Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.
A lady Canadian libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System Facilities. She received back the following reply:

